Deep Dive: An In-depth Look into America’s Favorite Nut

Deep+Dive%3A+An+In-depth+Look+into+America%E2%80%99s+Favorite+Nut

Introduction (Quick Note):

*Dramatic noise* Mr. Peanut. Many people know him as the hot, sexy, bodacious face of the Planters company. You don’t know him, however, as a retired vet. Or as a 104 god. We’ll get back to that. As I stated before, Mr. Peanut served in WW2 and appeared on Nazi Propoganda posters. He was born in 1916 in Pennsylvania, making him 104 years old before his death. His gender, according to Wikipedia, is hetero. Mr. Peanut’s full name is Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald-Smythe. In 2020, Mr. Peanut died in a car crash with the Nutmobile. In the commercial, the Nutmobile crashes, sending Mr. Peanut, Matt Welsh, and Wesley Snipes off a cliff. The trio find themselves hanging onto a root coming out of the dry ground. The root, though, begins to crack, and so, to keep his friends in good health, Mr. Peanut lets himself fall. Later, during the 2020 Super Bowl, we see a commercial on Mr. Peanuts funeral. It’s attended by Mr. Clean, The Koolaid Man, Wesley Snipes, Matt Welsh, and several unnamed people. When The Koolaid Man cries, his tears fall onto the grave, and as a result, Baby Nut, the reincarnation of Mr. Peanut, comes out of the dirt. In August of 2020, we see Baby Nut has grown into 21 year old Peanut Jr. (Considering Baby Nut was only alive for a few months at this point, we see that Mr. Peanut ages at a different rate than humans. We will be dissecting this later.) This event seemingly sparked outrage in the community, and had fans protesting against the Peanut Jr. Twitter account. (This literally isn’t even the half of it, we’re barely scraping the surface.)

First, to get us started, let’s look at the Mr. Peanut Iceberg.

At the top, we have basic Mr. Peanut knowledge. His age, death, full name. Under that, we have some more interesting topics, such as other characters in the canon world of Mr. Peanut, his involvement in WW2, and his actual age. After that, we have topics that are more theoretical and proven by small details, things that are never outright said. After this, we get into purely theoretical propositions, such as his possible deity background and ways you could kill him. Now that you’ve viewed everything we will be going over, it’s time to get into it.

Part One: The Basic History of Mr. Peanut

 

Mr. Peanut. Everyone knows him. The guy on the containers of Planters nuts? Well, there’s a lot about him you don’t know. A lot I do know. And I’m going to tell you.

You’re going to learn a lot about Mr. Peanut here, from basic history to why he may or may not be a god. In this 4 part article, you’ll learn how Mr. Peanut reproduces, the tragic events of the 2020 Super Bowl, and how the world’s hottest mascot might just be a god of his own religion.

 

*Please also note that in like 1 month tops I’m going to probably find some new key piece of information and half of this is going to be inaccurate.*